Fingertips in the Sand

Last night at around 12:30 in the morning I felt the need to go out for a walk. I needed to clear my head, or pray, or worship, or I don't know. I just needed to go for a walk. I grabbed my sweater and sandals and went outside. Hearing the waves, I walked down to the beach. I stood there on the shore for a while and talked to God, and to myself. "Praise You in this Storm" popped into my head so I worshipped for a few minutes with only the waves and stars as an audience. When I stopped singing they didn't request an encore, so I walked a little further down the beach.

After walking a couple hundred yards I stopped, knelt down, and wrote, "God, Help me." You see, I've been faking it these past few days. On the outside, I'm optimistic about my situation. This is God's calling, so He will provide for me like He has provided for countless others in the Bible and among my friends. Yet on the inside, I'm becoming cynical and jaded.

"Times are tough," "money is tight," or so people keep telling me. Times aren't that tough. It's not like anyone is like the widow in 1 Kings 17:12. "So she said, 'As the Lord your God lives, I do not have bread, only a handful of flour in a bin, and a little oil in a jar; and see, I am gathering a couple of sticks that I may go in and prepare it for myself and my son, that we may eat it, and die.' " I love that whole story in chapter 17.

Anyways, I'm becoming emotionally overwhelmed by my situation. Hope only fades, it never grows brighter. So I knelt down and wrote "God, Help me." in the sand, and just stared at it for a while...

I got up and walked a little further down the beach, but I stopped when I saw something else written in the sand. It was upside down from my perspective, so I walked around to the other side. There in big letters was "I heart U," with the word heart replaced by an actual heart. Someone must have been out with their girlfriend or boyfriend and felt the need to express their love, and yet they didn't write, "Tommy loves Jessica," just "I heart U."

Take a minute and put yourself in my shoes. What goes through your head if you were to write, "God, Help me" only to find "I heart U" less than a minute later? The thing that's in my head is that God still loves me.

Thank you Lord for this reminder of Your love. Help me to prioritize You above Your gifts. Help me to be content to serve You wherever I am. If you want me to stay in Carpinteria for a while longer, then open my eyes to the things You want to accomplish in and around me while I'm here.

Amen.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uHdcyue0bSw

"Praise You In This Storm"

I was sure by now
God You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

[Chorus:]
And I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to you
And you raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can't find You

But as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

[Chorus]

I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth

[Chorus x2]

My Fourth of July Weekend Adventure

I've been wanting to do some writing, but I haven't exactly done anything worth writing about. Solution: go do stuff!

On Friday I went to the beach and played some volleyball with some fun people with some fun accents. I like playing with this group. They make me feel like I'm the best volleyball player ever.

On Saturday, Carpinteria had a car show, and a parade, and an outdoor movie night in the local park. My roommate was in the car show with his 72 Maverick. It was really cool to listen to him talk to local car nuts about car things that I know nothing about. After the car show was the parade. It wasn't fancy or anything, but it was nice. There were kids, and tractors, and fire trucks. Just your typical small town USA parade made special because it was my town. Outdoor movies in the park happen once a week during the summer. They inflate this giant screen and project the movie onto it. We watched Avatar. Upcoming movies are: The Princess Bride, How to Tame Your Dragon, Tangled, and The Sandlot. I'm more excited about those movies than I was about Avatar, but you have to go big for the first movie night, so I understand why they chose Avatar.

On Sunday I spent most of the entire day at my friend's house playing with Legos. We set out to build the Millenium Falcon faster than anyone else. A team of seven Germans built it in just under three hours. We had 5 people. Even after calculating the time difference because of the different team size, we didn't come close. However, it was really fun to hang out and build Legos and talk about nerdy things. After six hours and twenty minutes of building, a couple of missing pieces, and a few dozen extra(?) pieces, we finished.

Monday, I went to the beach to hang out with some friends that were having a potluck. There were thousands of people there and an inversely proportional amount of parking spaces. After parking a comically far distance away (from The Habit on Milpas to the pier: 1.5 miles), I walked over to where the party was. The logic was that it was a nice day for a walk, so I didn't mind parking far away. Also, the parking spot I found was right next to the freeway onramp. The last time I tried to go to the beach on the 4th of July, I got stuck on side streets for an hour with a thousand other lost souls.

It was really fun hanging out with this group. They're a lively bunch. The most common question I was asked was, "Did you bring cookies?" The second most common, "How is fund raising going?" I thought about bringing cookies, but didn't this time, and fund raising is going slowly. Right now, I'm waiting to hear from my church. They told me they want to support me, but haven't said how much. If they don't feel like breaking the bank for me, then I might have to take up my friend's offer of doing a paddle-a-thon. She's on the paddling team (like canoeing, but different), and offered to sponsor me if I did it. The last time I did an anything-a-thon was a jog-a-thon in elementary school. I remember my parents regretting giving me a per lap amount instead of a flat amount because I ran so much that day. If the paddle-a-thon happens, I'll probably make my friends regret giving me a per mile amount. ;)

The fireworks were amazing, and we were practically right underneath them which added to the fun. After the show, we hung out for twenty minutes to let the crowd disperse. It's been a fun weekend.

I'm bad at this.

The last time I tried to fund raise, I was trying to go on a trip with a travelling sports camp. We were going to go from church to church using sports to tell kids about Jesus. I needed to raise $1500. We were going to spend a few weeks in the US, then a few weeks abroad, then a few more weeks in the US. When they did a sports camp at my church, it was so fun. I was really looking forward to it.

I sent out letters to all my relatives and neighbors and everyone I knew telling them about this exciting opportunity. In the end, I raised $100...from my parents, which I told them to keep since no one else was going to support me. I called the company and told them I didn't raise any money. Thankfully, they still let me do the sports camps locally, but I wasn't allowed to go abroad.

This is my experience with fund raising. My current fund raising adventures are going a little better, but not a lot. I have lots of prayer support, but not a lot of financial support. So, for all those prayer supporters out there, please keep praying. :) I need it!

Church

Today we sang a song that mentioned lepers, and my heart ached to be back in Romania, and my heart ached for the people living and serving in India. I love Carpinteria. I love walking along the beach on my way to church. I love my church, the intimate times of worship, and deep theologically sound messages. I love my friends, who are the same type of nerdiness that I am, but I left my heart in Romania. I wish I was a better fund raiser so that I could hurry up and get back to serving Jesus.

Menifee Internets

We have to ration our internet here in Menifee. We're only allowed a certain amount of data per month. However, that's not my excuse for not updating. I'm just being lazy.

Fund raising update: 12% funded. Yay. Thanks, parents for being 8 of that 12 percent.

I wrote a support letter that gives more information on why I'm doing this, what I'll be doing, and how you can help if you want to read it. It's a Google document so send me your email address in a private message and I'll share it with you.

PS, supporting me counts as a charitable donation and is tax deductible.

It's Time

Hello internets, it's time to start updating again. :)

My time in India was wonderful, and I have many pictures and stories to tell. I will be in California in June, and I want to meet with all of you. However, I'm going to be very busy putting together a financial and prayer support team. "Why?" I hear you ask. Well, because I feel that God is calling me to be a full time missionary in Romania for a season. I would love it if all of you wanted to be a part of my team. "Not that I seek the gift, but I seek the fruit that abounds to your account." Phil 4:17

God blesses the givers (1 Kings 17:1-16) and I want all of you to be blessed, so let me know if you want to meet with me and hear about why I want to stay in Romania, and how you can support me financially and with prayers. :)

No pressure, of course. 2 Cor 9:7, "So let each one give as he purposes in his heart, not grudingly or of necessity; for God loves a cheerful giver." But I want to give you a chance to know about this so that you're not like the Phillipians that cared about Paul, but didn't have an opportunity to support him. (Phil 4:10, "Though you surely did care, but you lacked opportunity.")

My treat

So, when I get back, I want to share with you some of my experiences. I'd like to start with the food. Who wants to go out to an Indian restaurant with me and eat a traditional* Indian meal like the ones I've been eating? Who's in?

*I mean eating without utensils, or washing your hands with any kind of antibacterial soap beforehand.