This story begins a week earlier at the Friday staff meeting. It was your typical staff meeting with all of the usual updates. Then we switched topics to Thanksgiving. Yay, Thanksgiving! Everyone went around and volunteered for different food items. I like Thanksgiving, so it was fun to talk about it and build up the anticipation in my mind for my first Romanian Thanksgiving.
Then the following things were said:
Someone: "This is an American holiday."
Me: nodding.
Someone: "We should have an American be in charge of everything."
Me: nodding.
Everyone: Turning to look at me.
Someone: "Mike, you're in charge of everything."
Me: nodding......wait what??
It makes sense that an American should be in charge of an American holiday, but you have to be careful when you're one of only two Americans in the room. As a writer, I should have recognized the foreshadowing, but meetings kill my brain sometimes, so I was only partially paying attention.
My response: "Yeah, I could probably do that."
Someone: "Good. By the way, everyone should feel freedom to invite one or two people."
Me: nodding, not realizing that if 20 people all invite 2 people, that means I'm throwing a party for 60 people. Not everyone invited 2 people, but with the invitees and the Medias team being in town, it turned out to be about 60 people anyways.
So the meeting ended, and now I have this ticking time bomb in my head ticking away until it explodes on Thursday the 24th. Except instead of tick, tick, tick, it's going Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving... I did my best to ignore it for the weekend, especially considering that it was my birthday on Saturday. :) (I should do a birthday blog.)
Then Monday comes and I decide to jump in full swing. My tasks for the day include putting together a food list of everything that everyone is supposed to cook, putting together a guest list of everyone that is supposed to show up, and clearing out and cleaning the room we're going to use.
The food list was easy, we mostly decided all of that at the staff meeting. I just had to organize the notes that were taken. The clearing and cleaning was easy. A few people helped me move things out of the room, and then I vaccuumed the rest. Putting together the guest list was a little more...interesting.
I went around and talked to everyone to figure out if they were inviting anyone. I didn't keep a running total, but my note pad was becoming full of names and +1's. Finally someone asked me what the total was and I added it up. "Ummm, 57 people." The person I was talking with responded appropriately with, "Wow, that's a lot." Yes it is. It was decided that there was no more room at the inn, and if Mary and Joseph showed up on a donkey, we would be Biblical and tell them they had to stay outside with the animals.
Tuesday was a shopping day. I went around and gathered shopping lists. I had a list of things that I needed, a list of things that Emma needed, a list of things that Gabi needed, and a list of things that the base needed. Four lists. One trip. Efficiency!
We get to the mall and get everything we need, except when we get to the turkeys they are really expensive. Phone calls were made, questions were asked, the internet was searched. Decision: Turkeys are cheaper at a different store! We'll go there!
We grabbed the heavy groceries, piled into a taxi and went to a different store. I waited in the front of the store with the groceries while the girls went in and shopped for turkeys. It was fun to people watch as everyone walked by me. I was a fly on the wall, and even though I was surrounded by a pile of groceries at my feet, hanging out in the most heavily trafficked area of the store, nobody ever looked at me. Is that a cultural thing that you don't look at strangers in Romania? I stare at strangers all the time, and in California, sometimes they stare back.
I'm starting to get tired. At this point we've been shopping for a couple hours. The girls get back with one turkey. It was cheaper, but it was also the only turkey in the entire store. Back to the first store! Ug.
We find a cool taxi driver that will take us to the first store, and wait out front while we run in and get the first turkeys we were looking at. So we had three expensive turkeys and one cheap turkey (which was actually better quality than the expensive ones because it was all natural). Cost savings on the one cheaper turkey: about 24 lei. Cost of extra taxi rides used to get those savings: about 20 lei. So, we did save some money, but what was supposed to be an efficient, four list, one shop, trip, turned into a less than efficient, four list, three shops, trip.
Wednesday is cooking day for a few people. I'm in charge of making apple cider which takes all of 5 minutes to prepare the ingredients (read: take them out of the package and dump them into a pot), and 10 minutes to heat up. So I decide to procrastinate until Thursday with that.
I run around and confirm the entire guest list with everyone and make sure that all unconfirmed guests are actually going to show up. Of course you know that they all are. I'm not that lucky that this project would suddenly get easier by having people not show up.
Another shopping trip also happened. I know we bought bread, but I don't remember what else we bought on that trip. We had so many shopping trips that they are all blurred together in my head. I think we also bought some food for Dan, and some decorative napkins and ribbon. I had to do some convincing about the color choice of the decorative napkins.
Me: "Let's get orange and brown."
Someone with better taste than me: "How about blue?"
Me: "I understand that blue is prettier, but orange and brown are the traditional colors. I'm the American, you have to agree with me."
Then we stopped by the decorative ribbon place. The plan was to put the ribbon on the tables to add some color and design. It turned out really nice, but I think we bought too much ribbon.
Someone with better taste than me: "How much ribbon should we get?"
Me: "Well, we have 6 tables to decorate."
Someone with better taste, but less math skills than me: "How about 40 meters?"
Me: "Wait, how big is a meter? Isn't that going to be a lot?"
Someone with better taste, but less math skills than me: "It'll be fine, and it's only 5 lei."
Me: "Okay, if it's that cheap, let's go for it."
She hands me the money, and goes off to do something while I wait for the poor girl running the decorative ribbon booth to count out 40 meters of ribbon. She gets back about five minutes later and the poor girl is still counting out lengths of ribbon a meter long each. A small pile of ribbon grows at her feet.
Poor decorative ribbon girl: "That'll be 20 lei."
Someone with better taste than me, but less math skills than me: "20? Can you check your math?"
Poor decorative ribbon girl: Pulls out a calculator, and double checks the result with her coworker. "20 lei."
Someone with better taste than me, but less math skills: pulls out an extra 15 lei and pays for the ribbon. "Woops, I guess .5 lei per meter times 40 meters is not 5 lei."
Me: "Yeah, it's not."
If I had known that that was the price per meter, I could have corrected her when she first handed me the money, but ribbon discussion conversational skills aren't addressed in my "Learn Romanian" book until chapter 5, and I didn't understand what they were saying.
We head out of the mall deciding that our red ribbon, which was intended to go along with our orange napkins and brown napkins, will also go along nicely with every green thing we have when Christmas comes around. So it's okay that we have too much because we can use it later.
When we get back, I start devoting some brain power to solve the query: "How will everyone fit in the room we planned to use?" I scour the area and find three tables and six dts desks. The six desks will turn into three tables when you put two of them together. So that means we have six tables. If I put ten chairs at each table that will be enough seating for everyone. I reenacted my scouring, except for this sequel instead of tables, I searched for chairs. Adding up every chair I could find, we had 60 chairs. Success! And for the thrilling conclusion to this scouring trilogy, I did some more scouring for a few more tables to put the food and drinks on. I picked out three good ones, and considered the problem solved.
Thursday came. The party officially starts at 4.
I get up, eat a quick breakfast and head to Thursday worship. Someone tells me that it's cancelled today. I'm thankful for the extra time, but I wonder why I don't get these memos. Instead I read my Bible, I answer some emails, and I post on Facebook what I'm thankful for.
Okay, it's 10am and it's time to start getting ready. I have 6 hours so it shouldn't be a problem to set up the classroom, and get everything done in that time. I start bringing over chairs to the classroom, and have some people help me bring tables over.
Problem #1: Some of the chairs I selected are not good enough. I need to take them all out and replace them with the chairs that have been sitting outside, and all have a thick layer of dirt on them.
Solution #1: I do it. I remove all of the bad chairs, about 12, and clean off 12 chairs from outside, and bring them in.
Problem #2: The chairs from outside are not all set to the same height. Alex needs to help me adjust them with a mysterious chair adjusting tool that only he knows about, apparently.
Problem #3: Alex is gone. He went with Oana to her class, and he won't be back until 5.
Solution #2 & #3: I put the tall chairs at the adult tables and the small chairs at the kids table.
Problem #4: I can't move in all of the DTS desks until the DTS is done using them at 1:30.
Solution #4: I show up at 1:30 and have all of them help me carry all their desks (and chairs) over to the feast room in the white house.
Problem #5: I start arranging the desks and tables, but apparently I'm doing it all wrong. Instead of a perpendicular/parallel pattern I was going for, they all need to be angled.
Solution #5: I angle some tables, but I can't angle them all because they won't fit.
Problem #6: I have some tables angled and some not, and someone with better fashion sense, but less spacial reasoning tells me that my arrangement is ugly. They all need to be angled.
Solution #6: I angle them all in spite of the fact that there's not really room any more to walk between them.
Problem #7: It was suggested to me that I make seating arrangements for everyone so that the shy people that don't know many people will be able to sit with people they know.
Solution #7: Ignored that suggestion. People are smart enough to sit with their friends.
Problem #8: There's not room to walk in between the tables.
Solution #8: Ignore the suggestions that created problems #5 and #6 and go with my original design to have some tables parallel the wall and some perpendicular.
Problem #9: I'm squeezing too many chairs around each table. This meal needs to be one of extravagance and luxury where everyone has plenty of elbow room.
Solution #9: Ignored that problem. It's more important that people show up and have places to sit, than it is for them to have room for their precious elbows.
Problem #10: Hallway leading into the room is dirty.
Solution #10: Delegated to someone else.
Problem #11: Tables for food and drinks are not really working out.
Solution #11: Replace them with different tables.
By now the room is pretty much arranged. While I'm stressing over furniture, a team of skilled females were busy decorating the things that I wasn't moving around every five minutes. Now I can leave the room and go do other things. I head to the kitchen. Probably not a wise thing in hindsight, since the kitchen is the epicenter of all problems on Thanksgiving Day.
Problem #12: Turkey juices need to be collected from two different turkeys so that gravy can be made. It is suggested that I go talk to Twila.
Solution #12: I go talk to Twila.
Problem #13: She is locked out of the House of Joy, and also informs me that she isn't in charge of gravy. It is suggested that I talk to Gabi.
I run back to the kitchen, and find keys. By the way, you can always tell how stressed I am by how fast I'm walking. At this point I'm power walking and considering moving to a steady jog.
Problem #14: Dave needs me to check on his turkey in the House of Joy.
Solution #13 & #14: I run back to the House of Joy, give Twila the keys, and check on the turkey. It's been carved and is just warming up in the oven, but it's not quite warm yet. I tell this to Dave and also find Gabi.
Problem #15: Gabi tells me that it's not her job to do gravy. It is suggested I talk to Dave.
Solution #15: I talk to Dave.
Problem #16: Dave tells me that it's not his job to do gravy, and suggests I talk to Twila.
Solution #16: This thing has become recursive so I run away and ignore all gravy related issues for the rest of the night.
Problem #17: Sound system needs to be set up, with the projector and laptop. It is suggested that I find Ovi.
Solution #17: Find Ovi, and send him to go help set it up.
Problem #18: There's nothing to put the projector on.
Problem #19: There's no laptop to hook up to the projector.
Solution #18 & #19: Screw it, we won't use a projector and laptop.
Problem #20: I need to get dressed and make my cider.
Partial Solution #20: I get dressed. Cider will have to wait.
Problem #21: I don't know how to use a scarf.
Solution #21: Whatever, it's a scarf. You just wrap it around your neck a few times.
Problem #22: People are arriving and food needs to be taken over to the white house.
Solution #22: Delegated.
Problem #23: I need to stop running around like a mad man so that I can help introduce the meal.
Solution #23: Delegated.
It's time to start and everyone seems happy, and no one is complaining about the table set up, or a lack of elbow room. I take a picture with my camera of this successful moment and decide to stand at the back of the room and rest a bit while they go through indrocucing the guests and giving a bit of background to the history of Thanksgiving.
Problem #24: I don't think there's going to be enough food. There are six full tables of people and only one full table of food.
Solution #24: Delegated to God.
People get up and get their food. I snap some photos. Everyone is happy.
Problem #25: I don't have a place to sit. I would find an empty chair and make some new friends, but there are literally no empty chairs. There were 55 chairs in the room, and it seems I was off by one chair.
Problem #26: We need knives to carve the uncarved turkeys.
Problem #27: We need matches to light the candles.
Solution #25 & #26 & #27: I go and find a chair, knives, and matches and bring them all back.
Problem #26: I need to get myself some food.
Partial Solution #26: I fill up a plate for myself and sit down to eat it, but I'm interrupted.
Problem #27: Someone hands me a plate with food and turkey bones and plastic forks on it and says that I need to find a "bag" for it.
Solution #27: I put the whole thing in a plastic bag assuming they want to save it for leftovers. I bring it back to the person and they tell me that when they said, "I need to find a bag for it" what they meant was, "I need to throw it all away." I toss the whole thing in the trash.
Solution #26: I eat my food.
Everyone else is finished with their food and moving on to desserts, but I'm just starting to enjoy my meal. That's okay though. I'm at the kids table, and they have all left to go play so I have lots of space.
Problem #28: Trash can is full.
Solution #28: I take out the trash and replace the bag.
I go back to finish my meal.
Problem #29: There is a giant crowd around the desserts and there might not be any left when I finally finish my meal.
Solution #29: Hahaha, not enough desserts. That's funny. By the time I got over to the desserts, there were tons left.
Problem #30: There's not a lot of room left in my stomach for dessert after filling a plate 12 inches in diameter with food and eating it all.
Solution #30: Delegated to my intestines.
After dessert, it was time to hang out and talk. I didn't do that. Instead, I sat in a chair and watched other people talk. I was tired.
Problem #31: Trash was full again.
Solution #31: Take out trash again.
Most people were gone by 8:30 with full stomachs and smiles on their faces. The few that were left kept chatting, and some were gathered around the food table to snack on some leftovers. I took a picture of the first official leftover turkey sandwich as someone was making it.
Problem #32: It's time to clean up, and I'm tired.
Solution #32: Ignore it until other people start cleaning.
Eventually we start mobilizing, and a good collective effort is made. First we have about ten people cleaning. I help move food and drinks into the kitchen where people are washing dishes and consolidating food into containers. Then we have about eight people cleaning. We finish moving all the food over to the kitchen.
Problem #33: What about all the tables and chairs? Should we move all of them back to their spots?
Solution #33: No. We'll do it tomorrow.
Then we have about four people cleaning. I help dry the dishes that people are washing. Then we have two people cleaning and me. I help put foil on all the leftovers.
Problem #34: There's not room in all of our 5 refridgerators for all the leftovers. (The space is already being used by people's personal, non-Thanksgiving food.)
Solution #34: Cram it in, even if it doesn't fit.
Problem #35: It's 9:30 and my brain finally dies from exhaustion.
I sit down on the steps leading into the kitchen and just sort of stare at Timmy and Coco, the wonder women, as they scrub every countertop, clean the entire stove, sweep everything, and mop everything. By 10pm, they're done and the kitchen is spotless.
Ovi walks in, "Want to watch a movie?"
Me: "pohgpjapomvwe"
Ovi: "Okay, we're starting in ten minutes."
I watched the movie, "Ghost Writer" and I'd like to give it the benefit of the doubt and say that the cause of this was a lack of a functioning brain, but I could not figure out why the movie was supposed to be interesting. At the end they revealed the big twist, and I couldn't figure out why it was important to the plot.
After the movie, I went up to my bedroom, and climbed into my bed. Ovi came in behind me apologizing for being loud and needing the lights on for a minute. I said it was okay because I planned on being asleep in approximately 5.78 seconds. He started walking over to the light switch to turn it off and I honestly don't remember him turning off the lights. I was asleep before he got there. It was 12:30am.
Overall, I think everything was a huge success! And I'm extremely thankful for everyone that helped me set up, helped cook food, helped clean up, and helped do things that I don't even know about.
PS, I never did make my apple cider.
