The day it started to rain

Metaphorically for myself, but literally for Noah.

(If you are into this sort of thing, check out the sermon on Noah that my pastor did when going through the Life of Faith series. http://realitycarpinteria.com/thelifeoffaith/)

Can you imagine what it must have been like to be Noah? Everyone on Earth is partying and doing their own thing. There's no churches, or support groups, or small remnant of Christians. It's just Noah and his family. Then God tells him to do something crazy. At least, it would have sounded crazy to me. God was going to send this thing called rain, and He wanted him to build something called a boat? It had never rained before, and they were hundreds of miles from a body of water big enough for a boat that size, so no one had ever built a boat before. But he faithfully worked on that boat for 120 years. The things that people must have said to him.

I love the way my pastor describes it from the 39-41 minute mark in the video. If you don't want to watch a whole hour long sermon, check out that section.

I just imagine the day that it finally started to rain as a wonderful day. (Then later terrifying.) That was the day that God's word proved true. That was the day that all that hard work finally paid off.

A while back, I heard a call from God. I set out to start working towards that. Some days were good, but most were not. I'm a perfectionist, and I hate failure, and it was hard for me to deal with not being able to raise enough money to answer God's call. I started to wonder if I heard correctly. Did God really call me to Romania? When would God's promise to provide prove true? When would the rain come?

A friend of mine from Romania told me about how God blessed all her supporters. I wanted to believe her, but I didn't. Then last night, I was talking with some good friends of mine. They told me a quick story about when they bought their house. They borrowed some money from their family, and were working to pay them back. Somewhat unexpectedly, the person to whom the debt was owed decided to cancel the debt! I don't know how much it was, but my friends decided to use the extra room in their budget to support me very generously.

For the first time since I started fund raising, I can picture myself going to Romania. Once I sell my car I'll be nearly there. For the first time I can see God's promise to provide for me. I can see the rain.

The goal I'm about to reach is my minimum goal. With it I can eat, sleep, pay my bills, and do ministry. If I got more money, it would go towards, health/dental insurance, the occasional book to read, tithing, and likely supporting other missionaries that are trying to raise support to do exactly what I'm trying to do.

I'm getting excited! I'll be around for at least another month or two, but I don't think much longer than that.

Rich Young Ruler

Matthew 19:16-30

Mark 10:17-31

Luke 18:18-30

When the staff in Romania first asked me to pray about joining them on staff, this story was the first one that caused me to start seriously considering it. (The story that finally convinced me was the one I mentioned in my support letter about the Titanic.) I went to church, and this story was preached. It was in english during an international service. I found myself relating so much to that rich young ruler.

Sometimes I'll even have that same conversation with Jesus. "I've been good. I haven't killed anyone lately. I haven't stolen any cars. What else do you want me to do, Jesus?" "Sell everything you own, and follow me." In my context the follow me refers to going to Romania. The trouble is, that even if I sell everything, it still won't get me there.

In order to reach my minimum monthly support goal I still need $685 per month in supporters, or $16,440 (2 years). Even if I sold my car, tv, surround sound system, gaming system, and games for twice what they're worth, it wouldn't cover it, and people aren't going to buy those things for twice what they're worth. The rest of my possessions aren't worth anything, just some old clothes and yearbooks. I really don't see how I can possibly raise enough money to get back to Romania...

If Jesus has a different perspective using His Heavenly wisdom that supersedes my Earthly wisdom, He certainly hasn't told me about it yet.

Fingertips in the Sand

Last night at around 12:30 in the morning I felt the need to go out for a walk. I needed to clear my head, or pray, or worship, or I don't know. I just needed to go for a walk. I grabbed my sweater and sandals and went outside. Hearing the waves, I walked down to the beach. I stood there on the shore for a while and talked to God, and to myself. "Praise You in this Storm" popped into my head so I worshipped for a few minutes with only the waves and stars as an audience. When I stopped singing they didn't request an encore, so I walked a little further down the beach.

After walking a couple hundred yards I stopped, knelt down, and wrote, "God, Help me." You see, I've been faking it these past few days. On the outside, I'm optimistic about my situation. This is God's calling, so He will provide for me like He has provided for countless others in the Bible and among my friends. Yet on the inside, I'm becoming cynical and jaded.

"Times are tough," "money is tight," or so people keep telling me. Times aren't that tough. It's not like anyone is like the widow in 1 Kings 17:12. "So she said, 'As the Lord your God lives, I do not have bread, only a handful of flour in a bin, and a little oil in a jar; and see, I am gathering a couple of sticks that I may go in and prepare it for myself and my son, that we may eat it, and die.' " I love that whole story in chapter 17.

Anyways, I'm becoming emotionally overwhelmed by my situation. Hope only fades, it never grows brighter. So I knelt down and wrote "God, Help me." in the sand, and just stared at it for a while...

I got up and walked a little further down the beach, but I stopped when I saw something else written in the sand. It was upside down from my perspective, so I walked around to the other side. There in big letters was "I heart U," with the word heart replaced by an actual heart. Someone must have been out with their girlfriend or boyfriend and felt the need to express their love, and yet they didn't write, "Tommy loves Jessica," just "I heart U."

Take a minute and put yourself in my shoes. What goes through your head if you were to write, "God, Help me" only to find "I heart U" less than a minute later? The thing that's in my head is that God still loves me.

Thank you Lord for this reminder of Your love. Help me to prioritize You above Your gifts. Help me to be content to serve You wherever I am. If you want me to stay in Carpinteria for a while longer, then open my eyes to the things You want to accomplish in and around me while I'm here.

Amen.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uHdcyue0bSw

"Praise You In This Storm"

I was sure by now
God You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

[Chorus:]
And I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to you
And you raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can't find You

But as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

[Chorus]

I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth

[Chorus x2]

My Fourth of July Weekend Adventure

I've been wanting to do some writing, but I haven't exactly done anything worth writing about. Solution: go do stuff!

On Friday I went to the beach and played some volleyball with some fun people with some fun accents. I like playing with this group. They make me feel like I'm the best volleyball player ever.

On Saturday, Carpinteria had a car show, and a parade, and an outdoor movie night in the local park. My roommate was in the car show with his 72 Maverick. It was really cool to listen to him talk to local car nuts about car things that I know nothing about. After the car show was the parade. It wasn't fancy or anything, but it was nice. There were kids, and tractors, and fire trucks. Just your typical small town USA parade made special because it was my town. Outdoor movies in the park happen once a week during the summer. They inflate this giant screen and project the movie onto it. We watched Avatar. Upcoming movies are: The Princess Bride, How to Tame Your Dragon, Tangled, and The Sandlot. I'm more excited about those movies than I was about Avatar, but you have to go big for the first movie night, so I understand why they chose Avatar.

On Sunday I spent most of the entire day at my friend's house playing with Legos. We set out to build the Millenium Falcon faster than anyone else. A team of seven Germans built it in just under three hours. We had 5 people. Even after calculating the time difference because of the different team size, we didn't come close. However, it was really fun to hang out and build Legos and talk about nerdy things. After six hours and twenty minutes of building, a couple of missing pieces, and a few dozen extra(?) pieces, we finished.

Monday, I went to the beach to hang out with some friends that were having a potluck. There were thousands of people there and an inversely proportional amount of parking spaces. After parking a comically far distance away (from The Habit on Milpas to the pier: 1.5 miles), I walked over to where the party was. The logic was that it was a nice day for a walk, so I didn't mind parking far away. Also, the parking spot I found was right next to the freeway onramp. The last time I tried to go to the beach on the 4th of July, I got stuck on side streets for an hour with a thousand other lost souls.

It was really fun hanging out with this group. They're a lively bunch. The most common question I was asked was, "Did you bring cookies?" The second most common, "How is fund raising going?" I thought about bringing cookies, but didn't this time, and fund raising is going slowly. Right now, I'm waiting to hear from my church. They told me they want to support me, but haven't said how much. If they don't feel like breaking the bank for me, then I might have to take up my friend's offer of doing a paddle-a-thon. She's on the paddling team (like canoeing, but different), and offered to sponsor me if I did it. The last time I did an anything-a-thon was a jog-a-thon in elementary school. I remember my parents regretting giving me a per lap amount instead of a flat amount because I ran so much that day. If the paddle-a-thon happens, I'll probably make my friends regret giving me a per mile amount. ;)

The fireworks were amazing, and we were practically right underneath them which added to the fun. After the show, we hung out for twenty minutes to let the crowd disperse. It's been a fun weekend.