New Year

I find myself in a moment of quiet reflection as I wait for 2011. None of my thoughts are on 2010. All of them rest solely on 2011.

At the start of most years you have a pretty good idea about what the year will hold for you. When you're in school, it's just the next year of school. When you have a job, it's just the next year of work. Another year with the same roommates. Another year with the same friends. Another year with the same hobbies.

That's not what next year looks like for me.

Next year I will be doing so many things that I've never done before, in places that I've never been. Where will I be 12 months from now? Who will I be 12 months from now? Will I have any savings left when I get back? My unemployment runs out in a week, what if I can't find a job when I get back? So many unknowns, and that's normally a problem for me.

But not this time.

I feel nothing but peace about everything. I'm not really worried about what to pack. I'm not really worried about my money anymore. I'm not really worried about what's going to happen in Romania when I get there. I'm not really worried about anything. The only thing I feel right now is excitement.

I just want to go. I don't want to wait until the 7th. I want to go now.

At some point my excitement was based on the fact that I'm doing this fancy thing, and you're not, so I must be better than you. But it's not based on that anymore. I don't even like to tell people that I'm going to Romania. I went to Wednesday night church with my parents and they introduced me to their friends. My parents wanted me to tell their friends about my plans to go to Romania. I was surprised at my reaction. Normally I would boast about such a fancy trip, but this time I felt embarrassed. "Romania? I don't want to talk about that. It's not that big of a deal."

At another point my excitement was based on the fact that sometimes, there's the potential to meet your spouse on a trip like this. While the potential is still there, my excitement isn't based on that anymore. Even if the place I was going to was guaranteed to be all men, I would still be excited. We could serve Jesus in manly ways, build orphanages with our shirts off, punch demons with our "bare hands", that sort of thing. (Of course, "bare hands" is a metaphor for the spiritual weapons we'd actually be wielding. ;) )

As I think more about it, all of my excitement is based on Jesus. One of my fruits of the spirit is serving others, and I just get excited about the prospect of serving Jesus. My situation reminds me of one of my favorite Bible stories, Peter walking on the water.

When he was waiting in the boat, he didn't worry about the storm. He didn't worry about leaving his friends. He didn't worry about what would happen once he got out of the boat. He only worried about one thing. Was it Jesus, or wasn't it Jesus? Once he found out that it was Jesus, he was excited to jump out of the boat.

Jesus trumps everything else. I've known people that have believed that and lived their lives in that way, but I've never been there until now. It's weird. It's fun. I feel a little impervious.

Like Peter, there will probably come a day when I start to sink. But even then, there have been so many people that have been so generous with their support that I know I won't be alone when I fall. I have all of you guys to help lift me up, and if any of you need my help don't you dare hesitate to ask.

Happy New Year everybody. I hope and pray that the abundance of Heaven is poured out on each of you in 2011.